Hello out there bloggers!
I know, it’s been a while since you have seen me. Post marathon, I was dealing with one pretty big life change that affected my whole life and I put running in the back seat.
My husband (ex, estranged, whatever) and I have decided to separate and file for divorce. It’s not an angry divorce; there is no ill will between the two of us. We simply became two different people who grew apart over the 8 years (5 of marriage) that we were together with too different end goals to make it work.
I have spent the majority of my adult life (we met when I was 20—I am 28 now) with this person, so even though I knew we were making the right decision, dealing with the decision was difficult at first. We had a house to deal with, we had bills to deal with and we had a life that we needed to separate into little compartments. I had to find a place to live and uproot my comfortable life.
I was dealing with this for a long time leading up to my marathon. It was a distraction from my preparation, to say the least. I didn’t have time to worry about finishing or injuries because the decision and actions of our separation had taken over my life. I was too focused on “what do I do now?” to focus on anything else.
I ran my marathon and when I finished, I promptly burst into tears. I am sure some of it had to do with relief of finishing, but the majority of it was me realizing just how strong I really am, both mentally and physically. It was empowering to me that is/was not going to define me. Sure, I am getting a divorce, but hey, I am a lot of other things, a marathoner included. If I can mentall get through 26.2 miles of being on my feet, I can surely handle anything.
So, even though running has taken a backseat in my life, it's still there, ever present and increasingly more important. It’s helping me define myself, discover myself and improve myself. The revelations I made while finishing my marathon went a long way to help me heal from the shock of the decision and fear I have regarding my future.
I kept telling myself during the marathon, just one foot in front of the other, take this step by step, especially through some difficult miles. This has become my mantra in life lately, although my steps are getting longer and faster and I am finally looking ahead of me instead of behind—and I am happy with where I am heading.
Last depressing post, I swear!! I am back into training starting today, so less of my personal life, more of my running adventures to come!
Happy running everyone